WHAT BRANDON WROTE: Story Dialogue/Character Letters, Weapon & Equipment Names, On-Air Promo
Players are shown an initial correspondence when entering a new region. They must then battle their way through enemies and defeat that area's boss to deliver the letter to its target and receive a written response.
IN-GAME CHARACTER LETTER SAMPLES
Dear King Gabby,
I hope this letter finds you well. I write to inform you that I am formally declaring war, if you have the time.
Dear King Skip,
So good to hear from you! I'm afraid war is rather inconvenient at present. May we perhaps reschedule for Fall?
Miss you, BFF! Living in the woods sounds like so much fun. How is your elf hunt going? Scored any hunks yet??
I've made a huge mistake. Elves are terrible. They throw pine cones at people and not a single one has been pretty or blonde so far.
How fares your latest quest to bring civilization to the mountain trolls? Have they accepted me as their monarch yet?
No joke: ain't goin' well. I'm droppin your name but they seem keen on an anarcho-syndicalist commune, whatever that is.
Hello. This is a totally normal letter that I am sending to you! No secret plan or ulterior motive here, no sir. Just a letter.
Your plan totally worked! This sucker postman just killed that rock monster that's been terrorizing me! You're a genius!
To the Swamp Hermit,
Your foul odor is permeating nearby villages. Would you consider bathing? Please-- we're begging you.
Thank you for your letter. Unfortunately, as a swamp-dwelling hermit, I am unable to read or write.
We know you've had your heart set on slaying an ice beast, but you're four years late for dinner. Please come home, sweetie.
Mom & Dad
Mom & Dad,
I was finally about to slay one, but some jerk sniped my fame and glory! Now I have to start over! Keep a plate warm for me.
What progress from my greatest champion? Have you conquered the ice beasts and expanded my kingdom to the frozen north?
Smoked those ice beasts. North's pretty much up for grabs, but I'm gonna be straight with you-- it totally sucks up here.
We hear you're reanimating a skeleton army in the barrens. Could you maybe not do that, please?
Fizzwow of the Wizards Guild
I do what I want! Mind your own business! And lay off the mail carriers, this last one broke my Skull Lord!
What's up, jester girl!? Hope your summer abroad is going well! Has your time among the sand crabs helped you think up any new crab puns?
No luck whatsoever! I hate Sand Crabs and I'm having a hard time dealing with my frustracean. Wait a minute BECKY, OH MY GOD!
I am eagerly awaiting news on your latest quest to conquer the desert realms for me. Third time's the charm, right?
These crab beasts and me been talkin' through some stuff and what they're sayin' makes a lot of sense. I quit.
Heard that a huge jellyfish monster is rampaging in your area. Is it true? Are you safe? If you die, can I have your stuff?
It's fine now, but yeah. That was my bad. Never remind a jellyfish its mouth and anus are the same orifice. They get real upset.